In my opinion Bartholomew IS malevolent (he’ll love that). Ireland doesn’t have the grey matter to be evil (he’s the kind of Australian who Crocodile Dundee would trounce on Countdown - the kind of Australian Rupert Murdoch gets to iron his newspapers in the morning when he’s staying in Sydney). Bartholomew is an untrustworthy, little shit - he doesn’t play victim at all because (unlike Ireland) he doesn’t have anyone who he bothers enough to notice him.

I have been wholly unimpressed by both these morons and have to say that if they are what the far left has to offer the British political blogosphere (I think they aspire to be political bloggers but one cannot be sure) then David Cameron should chuckle his way virtually, heartily through 2010 as far as Commie and quisling threats are concerned.

Anyone who ever comes under attack from these toothless rugrats of the web should simply refer to my previous exposés on these liars and smearers. Never reply to their questions - “no comment” works a treat with them and drives them up the wall. Put up a picture of yourself online smiling (that REALLY gets under their skin). If, like me, you occasionally feel like giving them a good verbal hiding then I have great news for you - they have more holes in them than an industrial sieve; more warts on them than a hundred portraits of Oliver Cromwell. Roll on 2010!

Ireland is so short of material for his blog (the Jenvey story has taken over a year…..so far) and paranoid that he spends more than three quarters of his entries obsessively settling old scores with (mostly Tory) bloggers who left him for dead in terms of user numbers years ago. (FYI football analogy: the Blogosphere’s Guido Fawkes and Iain Dale are Arsenal and Liverpool - Tory Bear is Man City - compared to Ireland as non-league Brainfree Town).

Ireland uses Twitter to openly stalk and threaten Tory MPs who, privately, are mostly bemused by how creepy he is. What is this person doing in Britain having left Australia having any comment to make on British politics at all? Who let him in? Why did he leave Australia? Will he attack my family? Boil my daughter’s bunny? What is his problem? (Questions about Oz getting answers in 2010 by the way - thank you Australian cousins for your help in 2009 and continued help in 2010. Truly shocking the info you have passed us so far. I know Ireland fled of his own accord - we don’t blame you for landing us with him like you landed us with Puppetry of the Penis).

For a while Tory politicians thought Ireland was on the payroll of some sinister slimeball like Tom Watson or Damian McBride then I let them know the truth about who he is and how he lives- that he’s a complete and utter, disconnected drop-out and liar who thinks Labour are fascists anyway. So they simply marked him down in the nutter column alongside constituents who write letters daily about Leylandii disputes or provide regular photographic evidence of dancing badgers.

One Tory politician I spoke to declared - claret pumping through his stout frame - how wonderful it would be if “Ireland were hit by a bus”. Another described him concisely as “a regrettable immigration error”. Ireland’s near neighbour less politely described him as “a total f****** w*****.” In my opinion he is all these things and more. I value the nail clippings of a random stranger more - I would not jump in a swirling river after either.

It could just be rumour but I heard the penal deportation guys got it right with the long-dead, Australia-deported Ireland ancestor first time round (if we are dealing with the same flawed genes here). There is a theory doing the rounds alleging that Ireland has REVENGE written on his bathroom mirror in haemorrhoid cream below a picture of a certain Great Uncle Sid Ireland (who may or may not have ever existed). On the wooden frame of the picture of Uncle Sid (deported for pig-fiddling by Tories) are supposedly (scratched by human nail) the words “Woz but a cudle. Torees r baasturds”. This would explain so much - come after Tories with a pile of rubbish because you thought that in the past Tories came after one of your own with a pile of rubbish too.

If Tim Ireland was someone known, rather than a fat twat of a non-entity, maybe Eire and the North would run a campaign to have his name changed by deed poll. He does as much credit to his surname as Fred West does to his.

Both Bartholomew and Ireland are up to their necks in unsavoury, conspiracist and oddball connections. Think a cocktail of Zeitgeist and One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest with Michael Moore, Ken Loach, Abu Hamza and a bunch of Truthers as directors. These freaks are the kind of people who - if I ever caught them breaking into my house - I would be minded to risk a Tony Martin on.

Ireland’s very close to Hizb ut Tahrir’s Craig Murray (the Foreign Office reject whose fiction gets bought up en masse by HT), both Bartholomew and Ireland are in cahoots with Strathclyde’s Bolshevik wing Spinwatch (a kabal allied to the repugnant Osama Saeed’s odious Scottish Islamic Foundation - a group of far left losers recently exposed as a smear shop on Harry’s Place and Spittoon; soon to be damaged more lastingly).

Bartholomew and Ireland - whilst working with Ummah.com to expose Jenvey - described the vermin-infested Islamist website (Al Qaeda central UK) as “not too bad”.  (They have about as much an idea of Islamist extremism as any common and garden leftist quisling but are actually stupid enough to go public with their ignorance. When I was asked by Ireland to explain various points in Islamist posts, it soon became clear he didn’t have the foggiest - I had to explain to him what a kuffar was and point out to him that insha’allah was not a case of a Jenvey misused apostrophe but the way that many Muslims write “god-willing”).

In retrospect, if anything positive came of me releasing the Jenvey recording through Bloggerheads and Bartholomew, it was the consequent exposure of Ireland and Bartholomew to the real world; to people who can do something about them if they feel they ever have to. Showing these two up to be a couple of sorry lightweights who no-one of any importance listens to, whose penchant for fabrication and bias are now clear for all to see.

How it hurts these two oddballs that the mainstream press ignores them. That the British population buys mainstream papers - especially the Mail and the Sun. Ireland is just a sock-puppet-loving twit - self-declared “genius” - with his uneducated head stuck irretrievably up his sorry Australian ass. Bartholomew (the all-round ugliest Mr Potato Head one could care to meet - so ugly that when I met him in a pub I feared he might use his crisp bag as a nose-bag) hiding behind a smoke-screen interest in religion to take pop shots at anyone to the political right of him with his powerless, pointless potato gun of a weblog that few visit and none refer to.

Anything good about this sad pair? There is some entertainment value to be had in their ongoing tragedy. I wouldn’t say that their mid-life crises should always be pitied from a distance - there is some fun in sharing their heart-rending ride.

For me it’s their delusion I love - that’s what keeps me laughing at them. Most people in Britain spend a maximum of a couple of hours online - these two bug-eyed jokers are so virtual they have made themselves ill. The web and Twitter are killing them. They actually think they have an audible voice in the hustle and bustle of British politics when the only roles they have are shifting their bile-stained mice and tapping their smegma-ridden keyboards in their respective attics full of dead air, bitterness, perversions and augmenting mid-life crisis.