Left-wing extremists in the United Kingdom are gaining new recruits by exploiting the ennui resulting from 60 years of prosperity and decadence. This ennui is also driving a resurgence in recruitment and radicalisation activity by "whiter" supremacist groups, pro government extremists and egalitarian movements.

Continuing racial and gender disparities in outcomes, mass consumerism during a prolonged period of peace, and other consequences of contrived intra-white status jockeying, intensified by the increasing cognitive stratification of the last 30 years, seems to be creating a fertile recruitment environment for left-wing extremists.

College graduates returning from liberal arts schools with degrees in communications, law and women's studies could be recruitment targets, especially those having trouble finding a purpose in life beyond their IPod playlist or fitting back into a civilian society that still eats factory farmed meat. There is a growing concern that left-wing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalise returning graduates in order to boost their finger wagging capabilities.

Despite similarities to the climate of the second half of the 20th century, the threat posed by childless, single women with large dangly earrings and disgruntled immigrants is more pronounced than in past years. The entire media complex, government, academia and Macbook owners have made it easier to locate specific targets, communicate with like-minded people and find information on subverting British identity.

So, when these Left-wingers locate a target what are the tools they most readily reach for?

In no particular order, here are the top ten tools of the Left. Their dastardly methods for attacking their political opponents:

1. Guilt by Association:

If an opponent of the Leftists has been photographed on the same train as a skinhead, he or she is guilty by association of being a far-right radical skinhead and is likely to wait for you in a dark corner and head butt you into the ground in a celebration of rightist violence. If a centre right opponent of the Left - not known for any extreme views at all - is spotted hailing a cab with outstretched arm this is seen as an insult to the great taxi-driver proletariat and the hail is not a hail for it's a heil in honour of Grandfather Adolf. Should a Tory ever work with a nutter for whatever reason, that Tory's mental health is never to be trusted and whatever the sins of the colleague nutter are the Tory's sins too.

2. One-Step-to-The-Right:

By Leftist thinking anyone in the centre is right wing. Anyone right wing is fascist and therefore anyone fascist must be a beast. By always moving their political opponents one step to the right, the Leftists hope that their leftist views seem less fruit farm and thus will be more popular. By this arbiter, David Cameron is Norman Tebbit, Norman Tebbit is Martin Bormann and Martin Bormann is a velociraptor. Tony Blair is the Devil himself.

3. The Fake Email:

The Left knows that the police have to go to great trouble to confirm that an email was sent by the person someone claims sent it. Therefore the police will not bother to investigate whether an email was sent by someone unless the contents of that email were particularly offensive or could help solve a major crime. The Left knows that in a civil case the validity of an email is most often impossible to prove, unless the sender has been photographed sending that email. Therefore the Left makes much use, in its attempts to smear and destroy its opponents, of the fake email, which they know is almost impossible for their victim to disprove. Such fake emails may take the form of "from Opponent to Person Opponent would not want to be sending an email to". Thus, emails from a Tory to Nick Griffin or a centre right blogger to a spotty rent boy would be their perfect kind of fake.

4. Smears:

In the footsteps of Soviet Marxist tradition, the left likes nothing better than to smear an opponent. Should an opponent be caught faking a story, all those associated with that person are fakers and all stories coming from their opponents are obviously faked. A Tory stopping by the roadside to relieve himself is a "frequenter of bushes". An opponent remarking on the savagery of extreme Islam is an Islamophobe. A Centre-Right Blogger with more users than any leftist blog, who happens to set one blog league table, is responsible for the bias of all blog league tables. The smear is a simple short cut - lies based on a kernel of truth - and easily the Leftists' favourite tool.

5. The Sock-Puppet:

A sock-puppet is an online identity used for purposes of deception within an online community. In its earliest usage, a sock-puppet was a false identity through which a member of an Internet community speaks with or about himself or herself, pretending to be a different person, like a ventriloquist manipulating a hand puppet. In current usage, the perception of the term has been extended beyond second identities of people who already post in a forum to include other uses of misleading online identities. For example, a NY Times article claims that "sock-puppeting" is defined as "the act of creating a fake online identity to praise, defend or create the illusion of support for one's self, allies or company." The Left writes articles or posts blogs and then has its opponents comment on them using their real names (but the opponents are not actually commenting; their IDs have been stolen). Favourite sock-puppeting targets are popular website comment areas, such as the BBC website. For example, a right wing opponent's name may be used to make a very right wing comment on the BBC website such as "cut paupers' testicles off" in an article suggesting solutions to the problem of generational poverty.

6. False Witnesses:

Leftist commentators love nothing more than to find feuding opponents, ally with one of the feuding parties and then use that feuding party as the voice to destroy the other party, then vice versa. It does not matter what either party really says as they are just the vehicles of destruction. They have become the leftists' false witnesses and are unlikely to complain until they themselves are being attacked based on words they never came out with and likely their opponent never uttered.

7. Little Questions:

Little enamours a Leftist more than to ask a little question of an opponent, knowing that the little question will likely lead to an answer upon which more little questions can be answered until Leftist blogs are full of answers and therefore the reader feels as if the smear or guilt by association attack launched by the Leftist is backed up by solid circumstantial evidence as demonstrated by answers to little questions which are obviously real. Smearing a Tory with Islamophobia reads a lot easier when surrounded by dozens of his or her answers about immigration, Abu Hamza or Omar Bakri. A Leftist commentator with nothing original to write can last for weeks on the answers to little questions and ask questions interminably based on the answers given.