In Britain the far left is tiny. Like the British far right and the extreme Islamist movement, it has no chance of establishing itself in the critical mass that is Middle England and Britain's sagacious first-past-the-post governmental system thus ensures it remains where it belongs - in the political wilderness / on the political fruit farm.

Occasionally you hear public huffs and puffs from far lefties. Since these days they are short of comrades and find it uphill rustling up a decent crowd by themselves, they usually congregate in some kind of unholy alliance (the Black Red Alliance, Islamist-Leftist compact is a well known one) in which they rant and bluster and, as we've seen recently, are still prone to violence.

The British Far Left of today has completely lost its integrity - it'll shack up with literally anyone now to improve its dire numbers. Come up with a political party to spear baby hedgehogs and within hours you'll have a far leftie calling you to offer you a coalition spot in the far left spectrum. Soon one of their drones will be sent out in solidarity with a bag of tooth picks to show you that they really empathise with your political objectives. As long as you have some numbers and funding, you're in.

Think ridiculous "We are all one Hizbollah" placards on so-called London peace marches, pierced body parts, unicycles, large dangling earrings and luminous socks. Think spots, matted beards, nits, cagoules, bobble hats and NHS specs. Anti capitalists heartily nibbling on Mc Nuggets and swigging Coca Cola. Demoralised Guardian readers with headscarves in an unholy alliance with extreme Islamists. Think Marx meets Zawahiri. Giro-funded anoraks now supplemented by zakat, Hizb ut Tahrir and Iranian rials.

Former leftist stalwarts - human rights, xenophobia, free-expression, feminism, homosexuality, democracy, abortion - tossed away for the sake of the Far Left's so-called perpetual revolution. An alliance with bigoted Islamists in the interest of mutual hatreds - America, Israel, globalisation, capitalism and imperialism, with anti-Semitism never far behind.

You occasionally see a grinning Japanese fresher buy a Socialist Worker paper on the campus of the London School of Economics, mistaking the seller for someone who's homeless. Or a nutter on the bus wearing "I f****** hate Bush" t-shirt (as if any would be attracted to him in the first place). Some extreme 911-celebrating lefties were involved in Red Ken Livingstone's local government in London but, much to their exasperation (and they can do nothing about it), they are history there now, save a few remaining grubby trolls, as the Conservative tide once again paints most of Britain blue.

As with Al Qaeda, the Internet is the last retreat of the Far left but even there they are short of friends and perturbed by the fact that The Sun's Mystic Meg gets more hits (and is more heeded) than them and their own quirky opinions and predictions.

The British blogosphere is now dominated by the Centre right. Only three of the top twenty political blogs in the UK can be considered left wing and all of them are well-distanced from what they now see post-Kinnock, Smith and Blair as election-losing, embarrassing, long-lost cousins on the far left extreme. The fact that many of today's Far Left voted in 1997 for Tony Blair is comical - no wonder they are so quick to talk of trickery and deception now that they are left out in the cold. Their paranoia does not abate. Seemingly, it daily ascends.

It is not since the rule of Margaret Thatcher (PBUH) that the far left have been heard in the political mainstream in Britain. Just bitter whines from the extremes, personified by hate-filled Scargill, the failure of jabber-mouth Derek Hatton (turned millionaire property tycoon) and other embarrassing hypocritical misfits peddling ideas which have failed time and time again when allowed to be put into practice (and which will always fail because they rely wholly upon chocolate teapot, unrealisable ideals).

The far lefties of today tend to blame the mainstream press and "spin" for their failure to convince the masses with their own spin - instead of admitting the blatantly obvious and blaming themselves and their own fruit-bat, impracticable policies.

It is fair to say the far left is most often represented by individuals who feel left out of, and spurned by, mainstream society for one reason or another. Perhaps too much LSD behind the Adult Education Centre and its consequent pool of paranoia, or bullied at school, job-shy to the point where wealth distribution seems like the only way forward. Anoraks with little in the way of good fortune or good looks - now low on integrity ("Beslan and Bali statements of desperation not acts of terrorism") and currently awfully low on self-esteem. The kind of people who are jealous of what the mainstream achieves and the power the mainstream status quo seemingly forever holds. The kind of people who always get splashed by a puddle when a Rolls Royce drives by or go past a mansion and have a peacock cack on their heads.  

I've recently come across some of these anoraks. I even played their childish games for a little while. In the process I learnt a great deal about why the far left is as unpopular today as it has ever been. It can still just about dish it - but it really can't take it.

Look at the people who front the far left or act as its "hound-dogs" and you will see they are in league with groups who are openly anti-Semitic, pro-Islamist extremism and often violently subversive. Some of their ancestors actually fought in the Great War or Second World War for Britain. Yet they seem to be able to live with these relationships and handily block out the screams of 7/7 or Madrid. Yes, spotting fascists and highlighting the inadequacies of the far right is an admirable pastime, but why ally simultaneously with Islamofascists? Like all quislings, there really is something missing upstairs.

The "anti Fascist" groups showing up to fight with the barmy English Defence League are not without Islamist influence.  The UAF - part-funded by trade unions - has a record of doing joint "anti fascist" work with the Muslim Council of Britain. Dig just a little and up pop all sorts of parasites -  the likes of Asim Qureshi of Caged Prisoners / Stop Political Terror infamy for one, who this publication pointed out through video evidence has addressed Hizb ut Tahrir marches on the streets of London openly screaming for "Jihad". 

Look at the amateur group Spinwatch - a Far left kabal using Strathclyde University as a base from where to manifest its "nutty agenda" (words quoted from a luminescent left-wing blog). Look how it is funded by groups which have recently been shocked to hear of Spinwatch's links with the Scottish Socialists and Osama Saeed's odious Scottish Islamic Foundation (the Muslim Brotherhood front) amongst other radical fronts with hidden agendas it liaises with to push its Citizen Smith agendas. (More on their funding ties in future weeks, not necessarily through this publication).

Muhammed Idrees Ahmad is a supporter of the anti-Semite, Gilad Atzmon: a man who believes that the Protocols of the Elders of Zion accurately depict the reality of contemporary Jewish power, and that Communist anti-Zionists who identify as Jews are in fact crypto-Zionists who are pushing the Jewish power agenda. Ahmad is a Spinwatch member and runs a daft and amateurish Wiki-Neocon take-down site called Neocon Europe with Spinwatch's David Miller (Miller is a lecturer of an "ology") where anyone to the right of Tony Benn is labelled a Neocon.

Smearing is the far left's last stand. Facts, like power, escape them.