As I approached her (careful to keep my distance) I asked her whether she was talking about India or Morocco, perhaps even Southern Italy - places, alas,  notorious for men of the groping variety.

I was surprised to hear my friend was talking about Turkey - the country where seventy women have protested this weekend after a court in Istanbul found a woman guilty of exhibitionism for fishing in what was termed "improper clothing". Fishermen complained that the attractive woman's skirt was flying up in the wind, as she suffered a Marilyn Monroe-esque wardrobe malfunction, and that this was - extraordinarily - "unacceptable" to them.

I someway - apparently erroneously - imagined that a country, albeit secular, with an Islamist ruling party and a President who showed up at the Euro 2008 finals with a headscarf-wearing wife (slightly less wrapped than Mrs Ahmedinejad and an altogether more colourful-looking Dalek) would frown upon scenes of civic groping by men and give gropers sharp lessons with severe punishments (the loss of a digit perhaps, or a public kneeing).

I remember friendly, gracious people when I was in Turkey - sunshine and monuments everywhere. I also remember that the food was rough (even by British standards back then, pre Oliver & Ramsay) and in one dish (a swordfish steak) I recall counting seven hairs (which beats even the hirsute eateries of twenty-first century Blackburn where one's fork might as well be a comb).

Those already in the EU who are against Turkey joining the EU - amongst other pretexts - come up with the old "culture clash" line and say we in the EU have nothing in common with a Muslim country who should look East not West. They point out the smouldering example of Germany where violence by and against Turkish immigrants has been rife - to such an extent perhaps, that before the recent Germany-Turkey match in the aforementioned Euro football finals, the two team captains were forced to read out avowals against racism after the national anthems after arriving on the pitch.

The anti Islamists would argue that letting one hundred million Muslims into Western Europe would be asking for trouble when the ones here already have hardly all integrated peacefully and successfully, let alone against the backcloth of a war on terror and global Islamist nuisance.

There's a growing Turkish anger against the EU according to various Turkish commentators. One, writing in the Turkish Weekly, in late 2006, stated, "the never-ending EU demands have caused mass anger among the Turkish public. The pro-EU politicians have been exhausted by trying to answer the rightful questions of the people. The EU has been demanding without contributing anything to Turkey. The burden is getting heavier and heavier for pro-EU Turkish politicians and the Turkish Government without receiving any gains. As the pro-EU Turkish politicians have just convinced the public in favour of the EU, the EU says something on the Armenian or Cyprus issues in an extremely inconsiderate and anti-Turkish way. As a result, all the Turkish efforts are in vain. The anti-EU groups in Turkey, of course, abuse this situation as their mission. For these reasons, the EU process should be stopped in order to prevent a permanent hatred against the EU. By this way, the EU's ‘absurd' demands will stop, the Turkish politicians will not have to defend the EU membership, and the negative feelings among the public will have finished without growing into hatred and animosity against the EU."

Turkey seems to be losing patience. Or maybe they can hang around at the EU's gates until the green light eventually comes - one day.

Turkey's EU membership could contribute to the avoidance of a clash of civilisations according to the former and current British Foreign Secretaries - Jack Straw and David Milliband respectively. They have both argued that Turkey's participation could prove that the West is not solely a Christian Club and that the West could have a genuine cooperation with the Muslim world. By the EU embracing Turkey as a member of the EU, the West will be cocking a snook at Bin Laden and showing that, actually, Muslims and non Muslim Westerners can live together jolly happily and successfully. (Why the EU should react to the likes of Bin Laden in the first place is worrying - but anyway that is how their narrative goes.)

Several Muslim states have declared their full support for Turkey's EU membership. Saudia Arabia for example says "Turkey's EU membership is strategically important for Saudia Arabia". Iran, Syria, Egypt, Algeria, Indonesia and many others back Turkey's EU bid and say that Turkey would be the true representative of their countries in the EU. Libya's Qaddafi declared Turkey's joining the EU would be a great step forward for Muslim domination of Europe, though he was talking in his usual provocative way, as if there really was a world Ummah. (Turkey could probably do with all the above states just keeping quiet, as all of them, except perhaps Indonesia, qualify for the club of international pariahs).

Turkey unquestionably has a lot going for it. Turkey is the 17th largest economy in the world and it has achieved this success without EU membership. Several multi-nationals have dismantled their factories in Europe and moved them to Turkey because of cheaper labour costs. Turkey has strong tourism and industrial sectors. Apart from the conservative Islamist government, Turkey remains genuinely secular and buoyant in terms of typically Western creative success stories, like fashion and media. Its never-say-die football team performed heroically like Weeble men at Euro 2008 - even though its players are virtually unknown on the European football scene - and they won a succession of matches, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat on each occasion, before succumbing finally to a last minute goal by Germany. It's a country on the up, with growing national confidence, in spite of some of its leaders wanting to take it back to the Dark Ages.

So, what is the solution? A permanent "no" to Turkey EU membership or a straightforward "yes"?

The answer lies at the heart of Europe - with the old players of France and Germany and, alongside them, Britain. All three are suffering from the worst of Islamism within their own borders. They are all having problems trying to integrate minority Muslim populations heralding from lands far less secular in practice, and far more prone to extremism, than Turkey.

What Britain, Germany and France ought to do now is draft a new, scaled-down and relevant European constitution - one that addresses problems rather than addressing power-sourcing - with a portion to it that addresses the major problem of extreme Islamism and its ugly twin, Islamic terrorism. This portion should address the creeping problem of extreme Islamism in their own countries - in the extreme Islamist teaching and management of many Muslim faith schools, in creeping Sharia in the growing number of Sharia Councils, in the growth of anti-democratic Muslim political entities (especially on campus), in the increased subjugation of Muslim women (notably in British Pakistani neighbourhoods) and in the increased welfare dependence of Islamist groups and areas.

The Big Three should draw up a makeover list to nip in the bud the problem of extreme Islamism in their own back yards then tell Turkey it must address these issues head on or stay on the sidelines forever. Turkey must work to accept homosexuality, accept the equality of women, learn to tackle Islamist extremism in its own territory with panache and remove from office Khilafah-seeking Islamists in a return to the secularism of Kemal.

The Big Three should also tell Turkey that its economic hurdles were met years ago (if Greece and Romania managed entry, Turkey should stroll in), that its democratisation attempts have been admirable (and will naturally be spurred on by linking with the EU democratic machine), that it still needs to look at its human rights record (which is pretty awful compared to that of any current EU member state) and that its final test will be passed only when it grows up enough to consign Islamist political parties to history at General elections.  When Turkey joins, it must accept, sign and ratify through referendum the new constitution (and its counter Islamist extremism contents) clause by clause. This may take some time - so did the golden progress of 1924.

The Muslim communities in the world think that the West is not sincere in its struggle against terrorism and in its policies toward the Muslim world. There is a notable feeling of victimisation among Muslims generally. Extreme Islamist groups play on that and recruit supporters through their victim hood narrative.

The EU should be honest and bravely tell Turkey that certain aspects of its set-up stink, rather than pretending that its economy doesn't meet economic targets. The EU can tackle Islamist terrorism at both root and branch levels and send it packing at home, whilst embracing sensible, secular Muslims (like the majority of modern Turks), whilst the rest of the "Muslim" world looks on and Qaddafi has a reality check.

The EU carrot is too tempting for a country like Turkey which needs to get on. Turkey is likewise too tempting a carrot for the EU - a country which has the spirit, the economy, the population and the infrastructure to be a huge step forward for the EU generally.

There's a hovering fly soon to land in the soup: with its capital Istanbul due the biggest earthquake in its history over coming years.  For Istanbul is a city that straddles one of the most active seismic faultlines on the globe. A few miles away beneath the Marmara Sea, the North Anatolian fault line is stirring, virtually certain to rupture within a generation at the latest and bring much of Istanbul tumbling down. The EU will be a useful place for Turkey to be in the future - it's a generous club. The EU should rise with Turkey from its ashes (there will be plenty) and make sure that it rises with the ashes of extreme Islamism cast from its recent history forever too.

As for my friend and her gropers, I take her story with a pinch of salt - she tends to exaggerate and is often off the mark (once declaring that she saw a man "stabbed in the juggernaut"). Alas there are gropers everywhere, though especially in sexually repressed Muslim lands with their high share of hypocritical, conservative Islamists running the show.

Dominic Whiteman is Editor of the Westminster Journal & runs the pan-European V7 investigative network www.v7europe.com

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