In July 2004, Dr. Naum Ciomu made a surgical error while operating on the man's testicles, severing the penis instead of making an incision to the testicle.

A piece of muscle from the man's arm has now been attached to where his penis was, but its function is aesthetic.

"You don't have to be an expert to realize that the 33-year-old victim does not have a good state of mind," said Mihai Olariu, the victim's lawyer.

This valuation is considered, per square inch, to be the highest valuation of a body part in European history.

If Labour scrapes home, Brown will get no credit and the caravan will move on to the next staging post. Lose and the roof falls in. The myth of Scotland as Brown's fiefdom will be put to rest and the shelf life of Prime Minister Brown will be numbered in months at best.

Consider the facts. Voting Labour has been part of the DNA of the East End of Glasgow for decades. Some would say that voters there have received little thanks for it, with many living shabby lives in a vortex of deprivation, violence, unemployment, poverty and drug abuse. And yet it remains the 25th safest constituency out of all 646 in Britain. Labour there has never felt remotely threatened - until now.

The threat will come from the SNP, afloat on a sea of populism in the Scottish Parliament. It offers an easy promise, that independence, fuelled by the North Sea oil price bubble, will be an instant fix for places such as the East End.

The Nationalists, with their propaganda machine working at full capacity, will paint Brown's Britain as a land flowing with economic bad times and unfulfilled promises. The East End, they will say, is the kind of place that new Labour, in its pursuit of Middle Britain, cynically put to one side.

As I approached her (careful to keep my distance) I asked her whether she was talking about India or Morocco, perhaps even Southern Italy - places, alas,  notorious for men of the groping variety.

I was surprised to hear my friend was talking about Turkey - the country where seventy women have protested this weekend after a court in Istanbul found a woman guilty of exhibitionism for fishing in what was termed "improper clothing". Fishermen complained that the attractive woman's skirt was flying up in the wind, as she suffered a Marilyn Monroe-esque wardrobe malfunction, and that this was - extraordinarily - "unacceptable" to them.

I someway - apparently erroneously - imagined that a country, albeit secular, with an Islamist ruling party and a President who showed up at the Euro 2008 finals with a headscarf-wearing wife (slightly less wrapped than Mrs Ahmedinejad and an altogether more colourful-looking Dalek) would frown upon scenes of civic groping by men and give gropers sharp lessons with severe punishments (the loss of a digit perhaps, or a public kneeing).